when a woman cries in front of a man

I immediately feel safer in their presence, because I know on some level a man who’s in touch with his emotional inner landscape, who is strong enough to be witnessed in it, and aware enough to powerfully and respectfully express his inner world, is a man I can trust with the expression of my heart. It didn’t really seem to hurt, 2 Others' opinions on men crying in front of his woman. Because we can’t selectively numb our feelings. "It makes me feel like crap even if i see one crying even if i did nothing a woman can make me sad if they are crying.

I just carry on about my day. “There was a point in my life when I would have said seeing men cry did make me uncomfortable. Be supportive of him and don’t make him feel like you think he’s being a crybaby. It didn’t really seem to hurt his image!". I think that the difference for me was that I loved my partner so much that I wanted him to feel safe with me.
My husband has always been compassionate and comforting when I have cried, and I love that he trusts me to be the strong one for him when he needs support. Suppressing our emotions to fit some arbitrary gender-box is a significant factor in what leads men to become suicide statistics, mass shooters, rapists, and murderers. My sadness and I are now good friends. No, you haven’t. It's just something that my face, you know, does. Like, a sobbing, inconsolable, snotty mess. “I believe there is no shame in crying, but society has led many men to suppress their tears, in fear of appearing weak. I am constantly terrified that a guy will see my tears as lack of emotional maturity or think that I'm just crying to manipulate him and get my way. ", 11. I think I had (and still have, in some ways) a lot of internalized sexism, and I emasculated men pretty often. ", 9.

These years of emotional constipation turned me into a suppressed, irritable shell of a person. I love it when my wife cries because she's happy. Please Log In or add your name and email to post the comment. The men in my life who have blessed me with the gift of seeing them fully, I can full heartedly say I have the deepest respect and adoration for.”. It took trauma plus a friendship with a very emotional roommate to make me start to become more comfortable with my own emotions. If you’ve read Gillian Flynn’s bestseller Gone Girl, or if you’ve seen the movie directed by David Fincher, you’re probably familiar with the famed ‘Cool Girl’ passage, wherein the main character, Amy Dunne, describes the kind of girl that every man supposedly wants. If you must, just kiss him gently on his cheek or neck.

Changing the subject is the best way to let your man know that you don’t respect his feelings and that you’d rather be doing just about anything else in the world. From then all the way through high school I valued my male friendships much more than I did my female ones. Don’t call his mom and his friends. What a gift.”. Therefore, if you decide to apply any ideas from this website, you are doing so of your own accord, and are taking full responsibility for your actions. It's how she wins every single time.

This can create a sense of mistrust because deep inside, I know he’s not being open and honest with me, nor is he being open and honest with himself.”. Beauty. I think there’s strength and beauty in surrender so I’m grateful to be given the opportunity to connect and support my partner on a more meaningful level. But then she said that if she saw him crying for just about any other reason at all, she’d think less of him. I think it's partially because I also know I'm not cute when I cry. “From my perspective, it engenders a lot of respect to see a man who is comfortable feeling anything; even, and especially, what makes him uncomfortable and what affects him most deeply. It shows that he is comfortable in his masculinity, and that he trusts in our relationship enough to be vulnerable.”, When you cry my heart cracks open. Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. The outside no longer matches the inside. I trust that you will be honest with me about how you are feeling and in your capacity to love me with your whole heart.

I also think that if a woman is uncomfortable with you crying, that’s probably a good indicator that she is someone you don’t need to be with. It also shows he’s willing to share more of himself, and that he trusts me enough to reveal himself more fully. Don’t make him feel like his tears are burdens on you and that you just want to get it over with already. I never want to see her cry again because of something that I've done. I don't like crying.

I would love there to be a societal shift where crying (particularly for men) isn’t seen as something that is weak, feminine, or hormonal. When men cry, I only see strength and bravery.”. It’s heart breaking. It reminds me of walking in a forest and the moment I realize a deer is watching me.

Everyone is continually growing in their ability to process their experiences and enjoy life to the fullest.
I soften to the vulnerability that fills the room. However, I think it’s important to note that even with all of these things… there was still never a point when seeing my partner cry made me uncomfortable. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.

From the ages of 9-12, I was on a boys’ soccer team and largely socialized with boys. Just as long as they’re breaking down in tears over a Save the Children commercial every other hour the way a super emotional woman would! If you enjoyed reading this article, you will likely also love checking out: – How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back, – 5 Ways To Help Reduce The Male Suicide Rate. I worked with her for several years and when I saw her crying, I really didn't know what to do in that situation, I felt helpless. It can also be deep in my feminine nature to want to care take and soothe, but I’ve found that simply holding space is all that is needed (similar to how I want to be treated when I’m feeling emotional). I know I'm not alone in this. To see my partner break down and cry has always been a reminder that he feels just as deep as I do. This is your job to deal with it, even if you have no idea what to do. Ultimately, I hope my partner will grow to trust all emotions are safe in my presence and by experiencing them in front of each other, we can help lighten the emotional load we carry throughout the rest of life.”.

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